I said I’d write a post about it as and when I experienced it. Well, here it is. Reverse culture shock. Culture shock – but in reverse – in your own country. What is this madness?!
I don’t really know where to begin with this, but all I can say is, it’s hard.
You move out to another country, you adapt to all of the differences there and establish a routine, begin to behave, speak and live differently, and it becomes the new ‘normal’, and familiar, and you begin to see it as ‘home’. Then you move back to your home country, and everything’s different, new shops have opened up where there used to be something else that you remember always being there since you were young, family have changed (new arrivals, etc), the city seems more crowded than before, you can actually read and understand signs and things but you miss the challenge of reading them in another language and the little victories with the new language you were having before you returned home. Add to this the fact that your view and perception of the world and issues in your own country have changed from having experienced life abroad. In short: you expect that coming home will be easy, but in reality, it isn’t necessarily so.
There are a lot of factors that can build up and contribute to someone suffering from reverse culture shock. Those^ are some of mine. Personally, I also struggle with feeling like I’m floating between countries – and neither one is really ‘home’ anymore. It’s very disorienting. My self esteem suffers too, and I find being-home-life feels so boring and slow because you don’t have to travel everywhere, I don’t have as many places to be because my social agenda is so much smaller, the city is smaller, I don’t have any exams to revise for… and because of this I feel like a horrible person because I feel so down, and it’s Christmas Eve, I mean who feels sad on Christmas Eve, right? (I wrote this on Christmas Eve, but posted it today!) But the truth is I’ve only been back a week, and the ‘honeymoon’ phase is over.
Yeah, just like with culture shock, you have a honeymoon phase, where everything is new and exciting, and then comes the low point. It just sucks that for me it’s the day before Christmas. But in my head, I am thinking about how little time I have at home before I’m back in Russia again at the end of January. I don’t have time to truly sit back and relax. It is probably not helped by the fact that I have lived in Spain for two months this year as well. Although Spain is like a second home, I lived in Catalonia when I was younger, so living in Madrid was a bit different. It just feels like every time I settle down somewhere, I’m only there for a handful of months before I move on again. And personally, I’m not enjoying it.
So those are the main psychological factors of reverse C-S that I’ve been dealing with this week. I’ve also had to pay a rather large deposit for my house for my 4th year (I know, I’m already on it and I won’t even be living there until next September, but such is the problem with student housing these days), so I am currently extremely short on money – as in, I am grateful I bought my presents already because I have nothing. Which is also pretty normal as a student. (Don’t worry though because my next loan instalment comes in early January so it’s just for a few weeks). #studentlife. This limits the activities I can do for a bit, and means I’m solely dependent on my parents once again, which can be really annoying when you’ve got used to having complete independence and coping with so much on your own.
The main physical symptoms I struggle with is my skin breaks out really bad – probably due to the change in water and environment, but it can really hit your self esteem. I have curly hair, and in England the air is really humid, which makes it so unmanageable, when in Russia the air is dryer, so my hair doesn’t turn into a massive frizz-ball whenever I step out the front door. Also, the cold in Russia is dryer, so I coped with it way better, even when it was -6 degrees C. Whereas here, +6 degrees feels like -10!!! So I feel so so cold! (OK, i might be exaggerating there, but you get what I mean – it feels so much colder here). I also get more tummy aches, but this could be due to eating at different times (Russia is 3 hours ahead) and still adjusting to the time differences (I’m not getting a lot of sleep yet).
I guess my best tips (so far) are:
- roll with the punches – acknowledge that it’s just going to take some time to get back into the swing of things again, even if other people don’t seem to get it.
- talk about it. Talk to someone who knows you well and who you trust. Let them know what’s going on and why, and just talk it over. It helps to get it out.
- journal it. I’m a big journal-er, so writing stuff down really helps get everything out of my head and process it better.
- get out and do something – new or old, just don’t stay inside doing nothing, even though you really really want to. You don’t have to be out all the time, but establishing some kind of new routine or finding a place to be gives you something to do. I joined the gym – I have some fitness goals and I’m starting well ahead of 2018! It gives me something to work on and a place to go a few times a week. I also try and go to church and to the 18-30s group there whenever they have an event on. I’m not always good at making myself go out places though, so my family has to persuade me a lot!
- do some familiar things you couldn’t do when you were abroad – for me this is playing the cello.
- pyjama days are allowed. Just don’t make every day a pyjama day.
- Christmas!! I know that seeing friends and family on Christmas day (tomorrow) will be fun and keep me from thinking about the things I’m trying to adapt to.
Here are a few more articles that are helpful to shed some light on reverse culture shock and what to do about it:
I hope all of this helps. Merry Christmas everyone 🙂